Content No Longer

Spend any amount of time with a group of Christian single people, and I'll often hear the word "contentment." It's well-known - something like,"I would like to be married, but I'm learning to be content in the Lord." It sounds spiritual - even restful. And by no means do we want to discourage people from resting in the Lord! But what does it really mean - and what sort of consequence does this way of thinking have?

CONTEXT

The scripture behind this notion is this one:

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. "  

Philippians 4:11-12 

Reading further along we see that Paul was writing about his confidence that God's grace will sustain him, whether or not food and other physical necessities are in great abundance. Take a look at what he says elsewhere:

"If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

1 Timothy 6:8

When Paul talks about contentment, he is talking about being gratefully at rest with what we are given, and not seeking to amass the material wealth the world deems necessary for well-being. There's no possibility he's somehow cryptically alluding to marital status here. It seems strange that verses reminding us that God is responsible for our daily bread would be twisted into a teaching that singles shouldn't be seeking marriage. To twist scripture that way is as irresponsible a use of the Word as a fully able twenty-five year old, living off his parents' goodwill and playing video games all day, going around saying that, sure, he'd like a job, but he's not going to look for one because he's choosing to be content with where he is.

Content - Really?

If, as we single people like to go around saying, we are truly content, in the way that Paul said he was, then this means that, in addition to marriage, we are willing to cheerfully to give up everything that he gave up for the sake of the Gospel; things like eating daily, the financial security of a job, personal belongings, any sort of permanent residence (other than house-arrest), honor and praise of men, physical safety and well-being, personal freedom, and health should all be things that we're willing going go without, since these are all things Paul did without at one time or another.

Are you ready to embrace this lifestyle and be truly content?

What is the Real Reason for Singleness?

It would be far more honest to say, "I really want to get married, and am praying for God to bless me with a spouse, but I am choosing to honor the Lord and ask for His guidance in all the choices I make in dating and meeting people. " But, no, we have to take things the hard way, don't we? We've turned our desire for marriage into something less-than-spiritual, and have to pretend that our single status is something bigger than it is. I'm not trying to bash singleness or those who choose to remain single; I'm just concerned that we're not really walking in truthfulness in our relationship with God or others when it comes to this subject.

I was browsing the web, looking for reasons that Christians cite for singlehood. They all started to sound the same, after a few:  You get to do what you want, go where you want, be who you want, you don't have to think about another person's needs or be completely stuck- ahem! - devoted to just one person. Oh, and, by the way, Paul said a single person is devoted to the Lord without distraction, so even tho all those reasons why singleness is really cool sound kinda fun-centered and maybe even a bit self-centered, you're actually really quite spiritual - after all, Paul said so.

Okay, so they didn't add that last commentary about "you're really quite spiritual" - that was me - but it was taken in the essence of what was said. Fact is, I have not in my lifetime met a single person who is choosing life-long celibacy for the sake of serving the Lord undistractedly. My guess would be that there are few who are called to such a life. Most people desire marriage, and ought not scorn their desire or feel shame about it, thinking it's somehow a lower calling, no matter how unrealistic it seems that such a life is possible. When Adam was alone in the Garden of Eden, with perfect, unhindered fellowship with God, how was it that GOD Himself said, "It's not good for man to be alone!?" Shouldn't Adam have been absolutely fine alone? - he had God there with him, for crying out loud! Heck, he didn't even end up having a perfect marriage - just look at what that wife of his did! - but still, we see, from the beginning marriage was part of God's design for mankind, as imperfect as we all know we are. God said, and never changed His mind: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it."

So, to get to the meat of it - I'm not content to stay single anymore. There is no minute, not at this point, that I believe God has called me to singleness. 

Yep, I admit it: I fully believe God has called me to be some man's wife, and to have babies and raise children for His Kingdom. I may sound bold, but I'm simply meaning that I've accepted it as an inherent part of my design, a unique part of who I was meant to be. I'm not saying that I'm going to marry the first guy that comes along;  I've already had a chance to do that! I think we need to let go of this fear that if we admit we desire and want to pursue marriage that we'll end up making some stupid mistake. It's not like that at all. I fully admit what I desire - but I realize the LORD has to be the one who brings it about. I am dependent on His mercy, every day. And yes, I am thankful -  so darn absolutely THANKFUL beyond words for the life I get to live right now - and yet still waiting and praying and looking for, in expectation, the man that Jesus would bring into my life. ("Looking for" involves keeping your eyes and heart open, so you can see someone as God sees them. Not hiding in a corner and wondering if your dream of being married is really ok.)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

 

The Elephant is Sleeping on the Couch - and No One Says a Word

I was recently reading a lengthy online conversation between some brothers and sisters. The subject? Porn use amongst Christians.

I think it was one of the most transparent, open discussions I've ever seen. A number of young men - and women- were openly sharing about their personal experiences.

One of the brothers (who's now happily married) spilled his story. He had wanted to be married for a long time, but carried around much shame from his past use and dreaded having to tell a girl about his involvement.

And then, after he'd concluded this story, he dropped the bombshell:

"I honestly think it's the 'elephant in the room' when it comes to why so many young Christians are putting off marriage. People talk about lack of maturity, high expectations, lack of leadership, too many options, not enough options, etc.

I think one of the main reasons is that so many Christian guys have used porn to some degree and are too ashamed about it to pursue a girl. End of story."

Wow.

And then, wow again, because I really can't speak much to this issue. It affects me - when one member of the Body suffers, all suffer - but I'm certainly very little qualified to offer much of constructive value in this area.  

But - I do have one thing to ask: what are we being silent for?! The continued silence is deafening. And it allows the devil to continue wreaking havoc in this area.  Does anyone really think that keeping silent and pretending we are "good" Christians is going to help anybody?

My mom always said,"Telling on the devil is half the battle."

And she was always right, too. Sometimes, I've had to go thru a long mental battle to get to a place where I would verbally acknowledge wrong-doing, whether it was against another or against God. It takes a lot of humility to tell someone that you've sinned.

And yet, with the admittance of sin, we stop giving the devil a foothold. The power that we had erroneously given to sin is broken. We are again opened to Lord's Spirit, that He may continue to work His perfecting in us. 

And I want to say, porn isn't just a "guy problem." As I've heard it said, lust, porn, sexual addiction - these are all people problems. People - yes, even God's people, men and women alike, in this age of rampant sensuality worship  - engage in these things and then remain quiet and aloof and sink further and further into destruction and devastation. Why do we give Satan this power? Jesus shed His blood and conquered death! He has overcome the world, and we are to be free - slaves no longer to sin but to righteousness! (Romans 6.) Yet our silence allows us to continue the stronghold. Our silence slowly kills as death overtakes us. O that we would speak up, that we would no longer continue in shame and condemnation. O that we would allow His light would to expose the deeds of darkness! O that we would allow His freedom to overtake us, and the bonds of sin shattered! 

 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed." 

-James 5:16

 

To Lock Oneself Away?

Yes, when you protect yourself, lock yourself in a house, close all the shutters and never venture out, you are protected. Protected from the sleet, the cold, the howling, gnawing wind, the blizzard and the chaos.

And you're also protected from gentle summer rain, the greenness of the awakening spring, the vast bright blue sky, the autumn breeze, the sunshine that heals the body and warms the soul.

Is it really worth it to shut yourself away? To swear self-protection, to say, "Never again will I allow myself to be hurt by another?"

Sometimes when we start to think other people are the enemy, we put up defenses that don't belong there in the first place. We then begin to believe that we are our own defense - that our sufficiency, our well-being lies in our own hands.

And then we miss out on the blessings that the Lord would pour out on us.

We miss out on the fellowship, kinship and encouragement of others when He brings them in our lives.

We miss out on seeking HIM to be our refuge and strength.

We miss out on the Beauty and the Joy of delighting ourselves in HIM, and the joy in having others share in this with us.

We miss out on rest that can only come from HIM.

We miss out on seeing that salvation can only come from HIM.

O, how we miss out on so much!

May we never seek to be our own source of protection. May we ever know that only HE can protect and defend.

My soul, wait in silence for God only.

For my hope is from Him.

He only is my Rock and my Salvation;

My Stronghold,

I shall not be greatly shaken.

On GOD my Salvation and my Glory, the Rock of my strength,

My refuge is in GOD.

Trust in HIM at all times, O people.

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us.

Selah.

( Psalm 62 )

In Search of a Good Egg (as Well as a Chicken or Two)

"You're probably going to get stuff on your shoes," Elizabeth apologized.

"That's to be expected," I told her. I'd come prepared. My old clogs had seen many things just as nasty as chicken poop.

I'd come to buy my chicken and eggs for the month.

(I don't buy such things from the nearby grocery store chain. I tend to avoid such places like the plague.)

This was the first time I'd toured the farm, altho I'd been purchasing my eggs from Elizabeth and her husband Michael for some months, every time I found them selling at my local farmer's market.

I was greeted by hens everywhere when I arrived. These birds are free-rangers during the day. Bantams, Barred Rocks, Black Sex Links and I know not what other breeds were happily, vocally pecking in leaf piles, scratching in dirt, and running around loose all over the property. "They even come up on the porch," Elizabeth grinned at me. This was evidenced by little "clues" everywhere, as we walked up into the farm house. "We're planning to put up a fence to block them from access to the house."

She talked about the chickens' different personalities as she showed me the barn, the various chicken houses, and their new baby pullets. "That's Ophelia," she said as a hen garbed in elegant black feathers sped by. "She needed a regal-sounding name."  "Rambo" was the lone mascot rooster, with a gorgeous, streaming tail comprised of many colors. "He's beautiful," I murmured. Rambo had been fated for the chicken processor, but - "He's had a hard life, and we decided he needs to stay here. He only has one eye." He lives with his "harem" in his own pen and house. Elizabeth pointed out "Dovey," who seemed to be at the top of the pecking order. "We had arrangements for them to get married, but, well... it didn't exactly work. They hate each other." Apparently, Dovey will have nothing to do with Rambo. Still, they seem to be comfortably enough situated, living together.

As the sun started setting and the chickens were returning to their homes, I helped Elizabeth collect eggs. She showed me how to gently ease my hand around and under chickens that had chosen to roost in nesting boxes. "That one's not a 'biter'" she assured me, as I hesitated to reach into a box that was already occupied by a hen. I marveled that, amongst some two hundred hens they keep, she can tell one from another.

I could tell the birds are happy. All that contented clucking really is a peaceful, soothing sound to the ear. They're happy, and therefore healthy. There didn't seem to be much spatting. Only once in my hour there did I note a some-what emotional "conversation." Unlike commercial birds, locked up in a tiny, dark room with their own filth and barely enough room to walk in (not that commercial chickens can walk, they're so fattened with grain and antibiotics!), these birds get to roam around and eat bugs. They're not sickly. And they receive a lot of affection and TLC from their owners.

I already knew these eggs that I eat were good. Just one look at that beautiful, deep yellow yolk as they're cracked into a bowl is enough to convince me.

But it just makes them that much "gooder" to get to see how they were raised. Not many people have the privilege of meeting the chickens that give them their eggs, talking to the people who lovingly raise them, and getting to enjoy the same fresh air that the chickens providing one's food also enjoy.

The State and Religion

Ultimately, politics has everything to do with religion. I do not mean it has anything to do with what particular church or religious organization a politician or political group may be part of. It is Statism to which I refer. This is the religion which the majority of today's politicians actively promote, whether consciously or no, and the religion which most of America's citizens buy into.

Succinctly put, what Statism means is that the state is god. The State has supreme power and authority over your life. The State is there to provide for you, protect you and keep you safe. The State, ultimately, oversees your daily business and has a role in your everyday life. The economy, social issues, agriculture, business, the environment, medicine, education, even churches and charities – all these, according to Statism, are, to varying degrees, to be overseen and controlled by the State.

Statism is antithetical to the presuppostion that man is created in the image of God. Its creed doesn't allow space for the possibility that anyone besides itself might possess the right to give anyone liberty. It doesn't recognize the sanctity and preciousness of human life. It holds no regard for private property. Instead it claims the State holds power to seize either of these things if that be what it so desires.

So it comes down, then, to a question very religious in nature: are we going to worship the Creator as our God, or are we going to worship the State as our god?

An Anniversary Meal Prepared with Local Seasonal Food

I made dinner the other nite for my parents' 28th anniversary. (That's them in the picture.) We had a large green salad with goat cheese and a shoulder roast that I crock-potted with potatoes, rosemary and bay leaves. Very simple but savoury.

It wasn't until afterward that I realised this meal had been almost entirely composed of locally-sourced ingredients. Until this year, it has seemed difficult, if not outright impossible, to be anything near a Locavore. Now to my satisfaction, almost everything on the table had been effortlessly found, practically in my backyard.

The beets, cucumbers, peppers and tomatoes for our salad came from local farmers. (The only reason the lettuce wasn't is that with the extreme heat, no one has lettuce left. Or if they do, they're hoarding it.) The goat cheese was made and gifted us by a farmer friend of ours. The roast (oh, the roast... the best, most moist, most flavorful I've ever tasted) was raised on a ranch not 15 miles from us. One hundred percent grass fed meat can be tricky to find (even pasture-raised cows are usually supplemented with some grain), but to my delight I recently found a rancher who is strictly letting his cows graze on grass (nothing else) and of course not adding any antibiotics or hormones. He has taken several years to breed his steers to get the flavor and tenderness of the meat just so. Meat as God intended it!

 The potatoes in the roast were from a farmer's market, and the sprigs of rosemary I used came from a friend's garden. The wine, I will confess,  not local - in fact it was an organic Malbec from Argentina (about as far from local as you can get. Should I happen to find a vineyard somewhere nearby that raises grapes organically, I would be glad to support it.)

Of course, the reasons to buy local are many (healthier, economical, there is much value in supporting local farmers rather than huge food corporations) but one thing that I consider important as well, is the taste. Fresher, more vibrant, unhindered by chemicals and additives, food comes alive. Everyone comments on the flavor, when your table is spread with local food. And that makes for a very lovely anniversary dinner.

Marriage?

Why aren't people getting married? Lots of reasons: of course our own flesh, our sin nature, is forefront - it always destroys when it is allowed to reign. When the flesh rules, Jesus is not glorified. So from that perspective - our own flesh prevents us from marrying.

But can we think about how another might be contributing and working tirelessy to prevent marriage?

Satan hates men, and he doesn't want them to be men.

Satan hates women, and he doesn't want them to be women.

If men and women, are, well, men and women, they are fulfilling their God-given destinies and being who Jesus created them to be - giving glory to God. This is a threat to Satan's kingdom.

Therefore his tactic is to spread lies and cause confusion and break down what we are called to be as respective men and women. This adds a lot of insecurity and confusion about who we're supposed to be, which just in turn makes the search for a spouse all the more complicated, as we hardly know which way is up, let alone how to love another.

We all have heard the complaint that men haven't been raised by fathers, that adolescence seems perpetual, that people too selfishly value the single life.

But, ultimately, I think it all points to this: Satan hates families. Not only is he in the business of trying to destroy them; he is in the business of making sure they aren't created in the first place. Establishing a family, when it is founded on a desire to glorify Jesus, is a part of establishing God's Kingdom. Do you think Satan would sit passively by and allow that? Do you think he would not try to stop it?

I think not.