Content No Longer

Spend any amount of time with a group of Christian single people, and I'll often hear the word "contentment." It's well-known - something like,"I would like to be married, but I'm learning to be content in the Lord." It sounds spiritual - even restful. And by no means do we want to discourage people from resting in the Lord! But what does it really mean - and what sort of consequence does this way of thinking have?

CONTEXT

The scripture behind this notion is this one:

"Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. "  

Philippians 4:11-12 

Reading further along we see that Paul was writing about his confidence that God's grace will sustain him, whether or not food and other physical necessities are in great abundance. Take a look at what he says elsewhere:

"If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

1 Timothy 6:8

When Paul talks about contentment, he is talking about being gratefully at rest with what we are given, and not seeking to amass the material wealth the world deems necessary for well-being. There's no possibility he's somehow cryptically alluding to marital status here. It seems strange that verses reminding us that God is responsible for our daily bread would be twisted into a teaching that singles shouldn't be seeking marriage. To twist scripture that way is as irresponsible a use of the Word as a fully able twenty-five year old, living off his parents' goodwill and playing video games all day, going around saying that, sure, he'd like a job, but he's not going to look for one because he's choosing to be content with where he is.

Content - Really?

If, as we single people like to go around saying, we are truly content, in the way that Paul said he was, then this means that, in addition to marriage, we are willing to cheerfully to give up everything that he gave up for the sake of the Gospel; things like eating daily, the financial security of a job, personal belongings, any sort of permanent residence (other than house-arrest), honor and praise of men, physical safety and well-being, personal freedom, and health should all be things that we're willing going go without, since these are all things Paul did without at one time or another.

Are you ready to embrace this lifestyle and be truly content?

What is the Real Reason for Singleness?

It would be far more honest to say, "I really want to get married, and am praying for God to bless me with a spouse, but I am choosing to honor the Lord and ask for His guidance in all the choices I make in dating and meeting people. " But, no, we have to take things the hard way, don't we? We've turned our desire for marriage into something less-than-spiritual, and have to pretend that our single status is something bigger than it is. I'm not trying to bash singleness or those who choose to remain single; I'm just concerned that we're not really walking in truthfulness in our relationship with God or others when it comes to this subject.

I was browsing the web, looking for reasons that Christians cite for singlehood. They all started to sound the same, after a few:  You get to do what you want, go where you want, be who you want, you don't have to think about another person's needs or be completely stuck- ahem! - devoted to just one person. Oh, and, by the way, Paul said a single person is devoted to the Lord without distraction, so even tho all those reasons why singleness is really cool sound kinda fun-centered and maybe even a bit self-centered, you're actually really quite spiritual - after all, Paul said so.

Okay, so they didn't add that last commentary about "you're really quite spiritual" - that was me - but it was taken in the essence of what was said. Fact is, I have not in my lifetime met a single person who is choosing life-long celibacy for the sake of serving the Lord undistractedly. My guess would be that there are few who are called to such a life. Most people desire marriage, and ought not scorn their desire or feel shame about it, thinking it's somehow a lower calling, no matter how unrealistic it seems that such a life is possible. When Adam was alone in the Garden of Eden, with perfect, unhindered fellowship with God, how was it that GOD Himself said, "It's not good for man to be alone!?" Shouldn't Adam have been absolutely fine alone? - he had God there with him, for crying out loud! Heck, he didn't even end up having a perfect marriage - just look at what that wife of his did! - but still, we see, from the beginning marriage was part of God's design for mankind, as imperfect as we all know we are. God said, and never changed His mind: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it."

So, to get to the meat of it - I'm not content to stay single anymore. There is no minute, not at this point, that I believe God has called me to singleness. 

Yep, I admit it: I fully believe God has called me to be some man's wife, and to have babies and raise children for His Kingdom. I may sound bold, but I'm simply meaning that I've accepted it as an inherent part of my design, a unique part of who I was meant to be. I'm not saying that I'm going to marry the first guy that comes along;  I've already had a chance to do that! I think we need to let go of this fear that if we admit we desire and want to pursue marriage that we'll end up making some stupid mistake. It's not like that at all. I fully admit what I desire - but I realize the LORD has to be the one who brings it about. I am dependent on His mercy, every day. And yes, I am thankful -  so darn absolutely THANKFUL beyond words for the life I get to live right now - and yet still waiting and praying and looking for, in expectation, the man that Jesus would bring into my life. ("Looking for" involves keeping your eyes and heart open, so you can see someone as God sees them. Not hiding in a corner and wondering if your dream of being married is really ok.)

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."