If You Value Sleep, Don't Watch K-Dramas

K-Dramas should come with attached warning labels: "Warning: Watching this drama can severely affect your health. It can cause severe obsession, consume time best spent elsewhere, interrupt your regular sleep schedule and keep you awake fretting about how the characters are going to resolve their problems."

 I know. It sounds utterly ridiculous. However, if you ventured into K-Dramas (typically of the romantic comedy type) you would see how this could be true. I haven't (yet) delved into too many K-Dramas (I do have a real life to live, thank you very much) but of the ones I have, I find several similar threads: endearing, believable characters that become like friends, hilarious, ridiculous, often extremely awkward scenarios that throw the most opposite of persons together, and unlikely romance.

 I just finished the 16-part series, "Full House Take 2."

Okay, ignore the fact that it shares a name with a well-known American tv show of the 80's/90's. I happen to, inexplicably enough, be a fan of that show as well (weird, yes, but that's another subject entirely) but if I had to chose between the two very different "Full House" tv dramas it would be the Korean one, hands down. For one thing, Korean dramas put about as much attention into detail and cinematography as one would expect from a movie. For another thing, the characters aren't shallow cardboard cut-outs who have half an hour's time to resolve their issues, as they are in American sitcoms.

"Full House" is actually the name of the manor where the story plot takes place. (It is sort of a double entendre, as several extremely different people do end up situated in the house together in an absurd manner.) The story follows K-Pop star Tae-ik, the rightful heir to "Full House," who due to unfortunate events has lost ownership and has "sold" himself as a teen idol in hopes of eventually claiming his inheritance back. Kang-hwi is his fellow star sidekick, and Man-ok is the peppy girl who, thru a series of cataclysmical events, ends up as the duo's personal stylist. The story follows the three as they are thrown together in one impossible, ridiculous situation after another. Oh, yes, and there's another girl in the mix, too, as well as numerous other characters both delightful and comical.

The opening episodes are a bit hard to take. Honestly, it looks at first sight like it's just a show about two shallow, silly pop idols who bicker and have no life outside of the stage. Tae-ik's appearance is especially jarring; on stage his exaggeratedly effeminate appearance, hair and fashions beg the question, "Is this a guy or a girl?" (According to my sister who lives in Korea, the outrageous, effeminate fashion is the norm in the K-pop world, even for heterosexual males.) Still, I have to admit all the fashion was a fun touch in this particular series. The character Man-ok, as an aspiring designer, has fun taste - I admired all her quirky, funky outfits that combined various textures and patterns.

As the story unfolds, it soon gets past outside appearances, and we start to see that each person here is a real person with a real heart, as layers like an onion are peeled back bit by bit. We see that Tae-ik is quite a bit deeper than the robotic, obsessive, self-centered freak he is, and oh... maybe he is capable of caring about people besides himself. Kwang-hwi is adorable, warm and loving, someone that you want to take care of and protect from all the horrible things that have happened in his life. And feisty Man-ok glows, holding the story together and never giving up even when circumstances get rough, continuously and selflessly caring for and looking after her friends' well-being.

 Why do I like K-Dramas so much? Is it the characters themselves, whom we begin to believe are real people, as we see their multi-dimensional human-ness? Is it the way they are all thrown together, the comedy that ensues when they rub each other wrong and annoy one another in the extreme, but then end up ultimately growing thru the process? Or maybe it's the universal themes that run thru them, the themes that make me think that maybe I'm not just a hopeless romantic, that maybe these themes appeal to us because they're true.

Themes like:

Love isn't just a feeling. It's an action. It's about how you treat people, show them care, and prefer them above yourself.

How true friendship endures, and how incredibly valuable it is.

How telling the truth is just so much better (and simpler) in the long run.

How a man's heart can be deeply moved and touched by a woman.

That a man needs to fight, even against insurmountable odds, to get the girl.

That people can change.

That "true love" is real.

Those, I think, are reasons why at the core, K-Dramas are so endearing. Even tho the stories are not in any sense spiritual, they still remind us of things that, deep down, we truly desire. Things that are worth hoping for, even while the world is screaming at us to be "realistic" and face the "grim realities of life." Things that serve as a reminder to never stop dreaming, hoping and loving.

"Love...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

1 Cor 13:7

Do We Want McDonald's? Or a Four-Course Steak Dinner?

You know, I think sometimes we believe we have to settle for mediocrity.


What would you say if someone told you that it's a pipe dream to desire to have a real, sit down meal? One with matching china plates, a tablecloth, maybe some flowers in a vase. Crackers with cheese balls and a glass of red wine to get things started off with, then a great big chef salad with homemade croutons,  followed by a juicy grass-fed Angus beef onion-encrusted steak, grilled veggies and fluffy mashed potatoes slathered in butter, finished up with a blueberry galette.

And you dream of one day sitting down and enjoying this sort of meal with friends gathered 'round the table.

And then someone shatters your dream, telling you, "That's unrealistic. No one eats that way anymore. You won't ever be able to enjoy a meal like that. Your best option is to drive thru McDonald's and get yourself a Big Mac."

We often fall for this line, don't we? We may desire a real meal, but sometimes the only option that seems available at the moment is McDonald's. So we think we have to settle for less, for nutritionally void, tasteless, chemical-laden fast "food." Because it's convenient, it's there, and... no one seems to be enjoying a real sit-down meal.

I am sure this analogy could relate to many things; mostly I was thinking about it relating to how I sometimes tend to view marriage. Like, I ought to accept a mediocre relationship, one where there's not really love, or respect for one another, because it's merely a hopeless romantic's dream to desire something that's real, meaningful, spiritual, edifying, connected, loving, respectful, passionate, supportive.

There are a lot of reasons for this, but I seem to have this wrong mindset that I ought to be open to McDonald's. But I've realized, lately, that while McDonald's may be ubiquitous, and it may be easily obtained - it's not for me.

It may take longer, require more effort, more patience, more work, more seeking the Lord to cause provision, to get to prepare and enjoy a four-course meal. But it actually can come into existence.

And it also delivers more joy.

And it's something that nourishes the soul.

How Do You Know a Man Loves You?

When a man is willing to put my needs above his own, laying down his life for me

When he makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world

When he treats me not like an old, dirty, neglected dishrag

But rather like a treasure, a jewel that he cherishes and

Wants to protect

And when he not only says these things 

(Words are so important!)

But also demonstrates them as well

In the way and manner he treats me

When I know that I am safe to be what I am, who I am

And not expected to be

Something or someone I'm not


...then I will know I am Loved.


-ALM, November 2, 2014

Goals for 2015?

Do I make or write down new goals every year? No.

But, I have been thinking a lot about what I want this new year to entail.

There are several things I look forward to - so, in a sense, maybe I do have some goals for the coming year:

1. Fall in love with Jesus...all over again.

When it comes down to it, I look forward to a year of learning to hear Him, resting in Him, delighting in Him. Not getting caught up in things that don't matter, or that aren't of the Truth. He's the One who matters. Knowing Him matters more than anything else. Nothing else does.

2. Get healthy.

I started GAPS diet last November. It's been going really well - a lot less inflammation, that's for sure. The purpose is for healing the gut, which is a good thing for those (like me) who have autoimmune issues. I want to be stronger, physically, and better fit to serve God in whatever capacity He sees fit.

3. Love the person in front of me.

He's been highlighting to me this. A LOT. About how important it is to seek to bless, encourage and edify others that cross my path. To have that as my goal, rather than a "what's in this relationship for me?" attitude. Loving others is what Jesus is about - we see how He emptied Himself, coming in the form of a servant. That's what I want to do, too.

4. Prepare for what's next.

There are a few specific things I believe God will have me getting into... eventually. But I want to be preparing now, and learning and listening, so that when He says "go," I am ready to jump up and go!

"What if" we are asking the wrong question?

We get bogged down in the "what ifs."

What if I make the wrong decision? What if I fail? What if I succeed? What if I get hurt? What if I hurt someone else? What if it all explodes? What if I hit a bump in the road, or find a bend I didn't see coming? What if it doesn't turn out like I'd planned? What if I don't reach my goal? What if I lose my way? What if I forget God's promises? 

We get so distracted and caught up by all the "What Ifs," that we can't ask the "What Is?" - which is the real question to be asking:

What is God doing right now?

What is He calling me to do, right now, today?

The first question may beget a journey.

The second question's answer, I think, may often be found simply in front of us:

Rest. Trust. Obey. Delight.

"Commit your way to Yahweh, trust also in Him, and He will do it. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your judgment as the noonday. Rest in Yahweh and wait patiently 

for Him."

(Psalm 37)

I'm Not a Big Fan of Fandom (But Still Might Be Called a Fan of Matt Walsh)

I think I just may be in love with Matt Walsh.

Okay, okay - so it'd be more definitionally-appropriate to say "I'm in love with Matt Walsh's writing" than "I am in love with Matt Walsh." Or, rather, "I'm a big fan of Matt Walsh's writing." (I don't even know the guy, for goodness' sake! Besides, he's happily married. And he has two adorable children, who might just have a fighting chance to win "Most Adorable Kids in the World" title. I was screaming as I flipped thru facebook photos of his babies. Yes, I have this tendency to shriek when I see ADORABLE infants.)

To say "I'm a big fan of Matt Walsh's writing" can just be a mere statement of enthusiasm, and that's what I mean it as. Sometimes when we use the word "fan" or "fandom," it often strikes me as making out a mere human to be a superhero, bordering on idol worship. You know, excessively lauding another human being, quoting everything they say, following their every move. Whether it be athletes, a movie stars, preachers or politicians, we're pretty good at deifying human beings. So, I'm not wishing to add my own personal mini-icon to the mix. I hope that I can be an enthusiast for someone's contribution, without any unnecessary pedestal-raising.

But I have been ingesting his writing in mass quantities here lately.

(If his writing were donuts, I'd be obese or at least, dangerously ill and hospitalized, by day three of intake.)

How can I be unappreciative?  I find him to be a witty guy, who has some fairly intelligent things to say. He's unabashedly pro-life, pro-homeschool, pro-marriage, and he thinks men should be manly and take responsibility to raise their own children. He takes subjects sensitive, politically-correct people are afraid to touch, head-on, leaving nothing and no one (the government, the abortion industry, feminism, the foolish side of American culture) unscathed. Granted, he's young (read: he can come across as a bit arrogant and cocky) and his writing style (understandably) isn't fully matured yet, like some of the fifty-something bloggers I also enjoy. Yet, he still manages to be wonderfully, richly sarcastic. Oh, the soft spot I have for irony. He was, after all, the guy who, a couple years ago, nearly convinced me to stop supporting Ron Paul, because of his superior reasoning. (Okay, I take it back; I just re-watched the video - I do love this guy!) But, I have to say, I am amazed. Amazed that someone my age (twenty-seven) is not only married, but has two kids, is making a living doing something he loves (writing a blog) and also has managed to find the right perspective on so many things. (Maybe that's because he never went to college! Gasp!) Hey, in our culture, those are all achievements that are rarely seen at such a young age. (Well, to be fair, a lot of twenty-seven year olds have had children. Without having done any of the other three things.)

I think it's great that he has taken the road less traveled. I hope his story, and his writing, can encourage others to do the same.

From Bikini to Burqa: My Mind Doesn't Follow the Leap

I watched this video of Jessica Rey,  the swimsuit designer, giving a presentation on the history of the bikini (which at the time of its inception was considered so indecent that the man who designed it had to hire a stripper to model it) and how this type of skimpy swimwear really didn't become acceptable in the mainstream until the sexual revolution. (Which must just be an historical coincidence. Of course there's no way the "free love" era had anything at all to do with a change in public standards of decency...)

We've all heard it: parents, feminists, even the media itself, at times, complain about our culture and how it objectifies women, portraying them as mere sex objects whose worth is wrapped up in ability to prove themselves capable of (sexually) captivating a man. We bash a culture that pushes girls to act and dress provocatively at younger and younger ages, that places emphasis on a woman striving to look sexy above all else, that makes women slaves to fashion's whims and dictates...

... and then someone comes along with some sort of solution. And the response?

 "They're trying to make women revert back to some rigid 19th-century code! Gasp! And then next they're going to force everyone to don burqas at the beach!"

I'm serious. Much of the dialogue (wait - "dialogue?" "Emotional diatribe" would be more like it) I read in and following articles replying to the video had essentially this sort of reasoning: "If Jessica Rey and others like her aren't stopped, we're soon going to be living under some sort of Islamic law! She wants to take away women's freedom to dress and live the way they want!"

Now, seriously. Did any of those people take the time to actually look at her website?

Go ahead, take a look.

Do any of those suits even hint at the burqa-look? Do all the women modelling them look like repressed, bound females? Her suits are very modern, chic and and show off a woman's figure, yet without showing everything.

And honestly? Her message contained nothing about forcing anyone, anywhere, to do anything. She simply wanted people to rethink what has become expected - and to give women an alternative to the idea that they must bare everything and leave nothing to the imagination to be fashionable and attractive.

Oh, yes. The other accusation? That Jessica Rey is somehow blaming women for men's lust. What? Somehow I missed that part. Watched it several times, and didn't actually hear her mention this at all.

She did cite a study about men's brains and their response to women in skimpy costume. That study got a lot of hate mail as well, primarily from women, who still can't seem to accept that men, in spite of years of brainwashing, still have brains wired quite differently than women's. As one reporter put it, she thinks the study just means that there are "deficiencies in some men’s brain functioning."  Take it or leave it, but a woman's body in almost no fabric is inherently sensual in nature, and will be viewed as such by most red-blooded American males. This isn't a statement of blame, just a statement of fact. No one is going to stop her if she wants to be objectified and wants to dress like a skank or wear almost nothing to the pool -  this is a free country after all - but it should be considered by women who might want to ponder that their choices - the choices that their mothers fought for in the 60's and 70's - have consequences, not all of them positive.

And no, I didn't lose the memo - I know flaunted sensuality is indeed perfectly acceptable in today's society - and while I don't think God has changed His mind and blessed this as of yet, let's still call it what it is. And let's also grow up and accept that a woman dressed provocatively (and by that, I mean what is considered provocative by our culture's standards) will be viewed as a sexual object by many, whether or not she wants to be viewed as such. That is the intention of a culture that values perversion and selfish gratification above all else, and that is the intention of a fashion industry that intentionally dresses women the way it does. Choosing to cover up more doesn't mean one need fall into some sort of legalistic trap. It simply means to make a choice, by a quiet action, to refrain from participating in a world that is given over to worship of something that will only be destructive in the end. 

"It's not about covering ourselves because our bodies are bad... it's about covering ourselves to reveal our dignity."

- Jessica Rey